Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Thanksgiving….comes early

Today, finally after several weeks of being lost in the chaos of life, I find my muse.  She, he, it has been hiding.  I would see only glimpses of the familiar come in and out of focus with every stroke of paint, only to be lost again in fog of indecision.  I find myself in this state time and time again, after life events happen. I lose my way and  I cannot focus on my art, it takes a back seat to problems of illness, children coming home, life shattering news, and often times fits and bouts of extreme happiness or elation, often it is not the event just my response.  These are the times when I find myself questioning not only my worth as an artist, but also my direction and intent in my work.  I become disjointed from all that is and has been my world, and fall headlong into what I like to call the purgatory of depression.  I know I am in a bad place, but just simply cannot find my way out, but somehow  I know there is redemption in the sanity of waiting it out.  There is something so important in the waiting, it is a time of stepping back and taking a long hard look at life. Today I am free and out of  depression purgatory and back into my familiar self again. It feels good and new again. I probably should not post this kind of thing; but somehow I am quite sure it will ring with a deafening clarity to other artists and I think we all like a bit company in our despair, it lets us know we are not alone.
That being said I am back racking up layers of paint on canvas in a distillation process of finding the figure in shape and form. Oddly enough the desperation painting, I have done over the past two weeks has rendered me with a much more thoughtful eye to what is needed, and more importantly what is not in my work.  There has been much fervent overpainting in the studio and clawing and scratching of canvas, but it has given way now to a meditative, more assured application of pigment that is not only healing the wounds left on the canvas from the past few weeks but giving it a new life. These are the days that I love.
Here is the most current work on canvas…It is an amalgamation of  two series I have been working on, the dark Alice series and the manipulation series.  See if you can find the connections of the two….here is a hint :  the title is Shadow Puppets……
40 x 40 inches mixed media on canvas
Shadow Puppets by Cathy Hegman
As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.
Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com
*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.
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8 comments:

Jami Buck said...

Cathy, Your words touched me deeply. I have been going through the same emotions and thought processes regarding my art. This after my mom went into assisted living and continues her descent into Alzheimer's disease. I have just recently started to find the muse again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You've connected with many an artist on this, I'm sure.

Cathy Hegman said...

Thank you Jami! I am so sorry about your mom...that is so hard to deal with. I am glad you are finding your muse...it is a lonely world without one! Glad to have made the connection with you....I love your work! Keep it up and keep that muse in sight! Take care!

Patricia D Arndt said...

I certainly can relate to some of the things you have shared, so thank you. You and your art are an inspiration.

Patricia D Arndt said...

I can certainly relate to some of the things you have shared, so thank you. You and your art have been an inspiration for me.

Gexton said...

awesome! It's true haven't seen you put much painting up here in a while, but really

sweet!
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Cathy Hegman said...

Thank you Patricia ad Gexton! I am glad you enjoyed it!

Marc R. Hanson said...

Thanks for your honesty about your creative struggle. Like you said, there's probably not an artist out here who doesn't go through this strange, but necessary, interruption to what sometimes feels like their idyllic world in the studio. I know I've had my share. It has taken time for me to relax about it, to know that 'this too shall pass'. But, hearing it from others like you wrote about it, is an incredible comfort. Thank you! At those times, when it seems very frustrating, I usually get out and reread (for the hundredth time) the book, The War of Art, to be comforted in knowing that I'm not alone in the struggle. Happy New Year!!!

Marc R. Hanson said...

Thanks for your honesty about your creative struggle. Like you said, there's probably not an artist out here who doesn't go through this strange, but necessary, interruption to what sometimes feels like their idyllic world in the studio. I know I've had my share. It has taken time for me to relax about it, to know that 'this too shall pass'. But, hearing it from others like you wrote about it, is an incredible comfort. Thank you! At those times, when it seems very frustrating, I usually get out and reread (for the hundredth time) the book, The War of Art, to be comforted in knowing that I'm not alone in the struggle. Happy New Year!!!